Andy and I have been married for 3 wonderful years, and it's been a little difficult for me that we haven't made that decision to have children yet. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am so glad that we didn't start popping out babies right away, because I personally needed to figure out how to be a wife before I could be a mother. I am grateful for my time with my husband. We've learned so much together and I wouldn't change it for the world. But lately, I've been so baby hungry...but it feels different than "hunger" this time. I guess I just feel that it's time to go for it. Unfortunately, Andy and I have felt that our circumstances are not perfect for having a baby right now. He's just getting into his career and not making a ton of money, not enough money for me to stay home with the baby, that is. And that's what I want to do... I don't want to have to go back to work after 3 months... I don't want my baby to grow up in childcare...I don't want, don't want, don't want... There's an endless list of reasons why now is not a great time. But is it really only what I want? No... it's what Andy, HEAVENLY FATHER, and I want. I forget that little part sometimes... HEAVENLY FATHER. This talk just really opened my eyes that the Lord wants us to "Be fruitful and replenish the earth". I mean, obviously I've known that for a long time, but it just kind of stood out to me that it's a commandment, that the Lord has asked us to do it and we need to obey. We can't keep putting things on hold for when WE think it's "perfect" timing.
Andy and I have had this discussion before where - yes, we know we need to have kids, but we also need to be smart about it. But something Elder Andersen said in his talk really hit me:
"President Thomas S. Monson said: “If you are concerned about providing financially for a wife and family, may I assure you that there is no shame in a couple having to scrimp and save. It is generally during these challenging times that you will grow closer together as you learn to sacrifice and to make difficult decisions.”
Now, please don't take this the wrong way and think I'm making a Pregnancy announcement (not even!) or announcing that we are Trying... because another thing that Elder Andersen said was:
"...realizing the decision of how many children to have and when to have them is between a husband and wife and the Lord. We should not judge one another on this matter."
I just really wanted to write my thoughts down about this wonderful conference talk. Like I said, it just really spoke to me and made me realize that Andy and I need to sit down and really talk about the decision, not just amongst ourselves, but also with Our Heavenly Father. I don't think we've done that...
Anyway, here is the link to the talk...it's really special and I think everyone should read or listen to it (even if you already have made that decision to start your family) http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/children?lang=eng
p.s. I will post about the cruise later this week (with pictures. Yay!). :)
You're amazing Kell! That talk was great. Thanks so much for sharing it! Starting a family has truly been a blessing for Ben and I. But with that being said, it has been a big trial too. We have had to sacrifice a lot. With Ben's school, calling and internship I feel like a single mom sometimes. At this point in our lives I will be forced to go back to work. We definitely live on a budget now. But, I know that we followed the Lord's guidance and now was the right time to start our family and I honestly couldn't feel more blessed.
ReplyDeleteI feel like we are always the ones posting on each other blogs, but I am going to do it anyway. I feel like with all of us being so busy this is the best way for us to stay in contact and up to date on each other, kinda lame but true. Kell I love your thoughts! I know the Lord will help you if you are following his plan for you. I was writing an old investigator yesterday and something similiar came up about how the Lord's plan doesn't always match up exactly with what we had in mind. As we follow his plan he always makes more of ourlives then we could ever think. Just as a side note though remember my kids are going to need little "cousins" around their same age.... haha
ReplyDeleteKelly, this was great! It made me miss working with you and chatting. "um, hi, my name is Kayce, can you help me?" =) I never dreamed that Scott and I would have a baby when we did. But the Lord had different plans and we couldn't know His plans until we prayed about it. There's a lot of comfort in knowing that the Lord does have a plan and will let you know what it is. The burden is less when you give it to the Lord instead of trying to make such a monumental decision on your own. You'll be an amazing mommy when the time is right for you =)
ReplyDeleteA coworker of mine (with 10 kids!!) once told me, "Whenever you think you can't afford a baby, that is the time to have one, because then the Lord will bless you with the money you need to take care of it!" Haha :) Dustin and I have definitely been in the "scrimp and save" category with him still going to school. Growing up I always knew I'd be a full-time stay at home mom as soon as I started having kids, but it turned out that wasn't the Lord's plan. Even though I have to work part time in order to make ends meet, I still feel like we had our baby when we were supposed to. It truly is a decision you have to make with the Lord! He is the only one who knows what's best for everyone. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone for the comments... it's always so neat to hear from other LDS women who have gone through the same thought process as me. :) Thanks girls. I miss you all!
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