Saturday, October 22, 2011

Cruisin Time

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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

General Conference

Due to our cruise, Andy and I weren't able to watch much of conference. We caught a few talks from the Saturday sessions, but missed all of the Sunday sessions. I've listened to a few talks on my phone as I get ready in the morning and I'm so grateful for the technology that makes it so easy to listen to conference. It really is a blessing. On my lunch break today, I walked down to a little sandwich shop and listened to a wonderful conference talk. It was from Elder Neil. L. Andersen with the title "Children". I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but I don't think I really expected it to be about the decision to start raising a family...

Andy and I have been married for 3 wonderful years, and it's been a little difficult for me that we haven't made that decision to have children yet. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am so glad that we didn't start popping out babies right away, because I personally needed to figure out how to be a wife before I could be a mother. I am grateful for my time with my husband. We've learned so much together and I wouldn't change it for the world. But lately, I've been so baby hungry...but it feels different than "hunger" this time. I guess I just feel that it's time to go for it. Unfortunately, Andy and I have felt that our circumstances are not perfect for having a baby right now. He's just getting into his career and not making a ton of money, not enough money for me to stay home with the baby, that is. And that's what I want to do... I don't want to have to go back to work after 3 months... I don't want my baby to grow up in childcare...I don't want, don't want, don't want... There's an endless list of reasons why now is not a great time. But is it really only what I want? No... it's what Andy, HEAVENLY FATHER, and I want. I forget that little part sometimes... HEAVENLY FATHER. This talk just really opened my eyes that the Lord wants us to "Be fruitful and replenish the earth". I mean, obviously I've known that for a long time, but it just kind of stood out to me that it's a commandment, that the Lord has asked us to do it and we need to obey. We can't keep putting things on hold for when WE think it's "perfect" timing.

Andy and I have had this discussion before where - yes, we know we need to have kids, but we also need to be smart about it. But something Elder Andersen said in his talk really hit me:

    "President Thomas S. Monson said: “If you are concerned about providing financially for a wife and family, may I assure you that there is no shame in a couple having to scrimp and save. It is generally during these challenging times that you will grow closer together as you learn to sacrifice and to make difficult decisions.”

Andy and I have always said that we want to start a family, but still live how we are living now - we don't worry about money that much. If I want a new dress or Andy wants a new video game... we go buy it! Yes, it's amazing not to stress about money and be able to buy whatever we want. But what is more important? Following the Lord's commandment to raise a family or have a new pair of shoes? Andy and I have never really been in a place where we have really had to sacrifice, and not necessarily just money, but also our time together. We have always had as much time together as we wanted (sorry, I'm really not trying to brag at all about this, just trying to write thoughts down). We've just been so blessed and now - I just wonder if it's time for us to TRULY make a sacrifice...

Now, please don't take this the wrong way and think I'm making a Pregnancy announcement (not even!) or announcing that we are Trying... because another thing that Elder Andersen said was:

"...realizing the decision of how many children to have and when to have them is between a husband and wife and the Lord. We should not judge one another on this matter."

I just really wanted to write my thoughts down about this wonderful conference talk. Like I said, it just really spoke to me and made me realize that Andy and I need to sit down and really talk about the decision, not just amongst ourselves, but also with Our Heavenly Father. I don't think we've done that...

Anyway, here is the link to the talk...it's really special and I think everyone should read or listen to it (even if you already have made that decision to start your family) http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/children?lang=eng

p.s. I will post about the cruise later this week (with pictures. Yay!). :)